Friday, January 22, 2016

Testing the Parchment

My girlfriend sent me some parchment paper for Christmas, and I thought it might make the type more readable for this blog. Here's a rant about beloved movies that really grind my gears.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Chain Letter

Among the curious pieces of history found in the carrying case of my Commodore 650, was a chain letter, which my friend referred to as "old school spam." He was, of course, referring to internet spam, and not the canned ham loaf that is delicious with mustard and crackers.
The chain letter is the ancestor of "like and share" Facebook posts and e-mail forwards. I hate these online pests as much as everyone else, but a wave of nostalgia washed over me when I laid eyes on the chain letter.
It brought back an early memory of when I first learned what a chain letter was. My mother had received one involving the participants sending each other dish towels.
The one that I now possess involves sending someone a quarter and then, if everyone participates, you're supposed to receive a whole shit load of quarters. Apparently, the chain letter is the less dangerous cousin of the pyramid scheme.
I'm actually thinking about sending this one back into circulation, mostly because I think it will be fun to write letters to complete strangers. I only wish I could see the expressions of equal parts joy and horror on their faces when they release the chain letter is back from the dead.
What do you think? Should I soften the blow by including a brief explanation of how the chain letter came into my possession?

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Old Dirty Jokes

The following document was tucked inside the carrying case of my newly acquired Commodore 650. At first, I thought it was an old business letter that may have historical significance. As I actually began to read it, hilarity ensued ...
The next artifact is a story involving the governor of Pennsylvania and a prostitute. I don't know when this was written or who the governor was at the time, but I think it's safe to say that this tale is timeless ...
      While on vacation, the governor of Pa. wanted a girl for the nite; He had 3 beautiful girls brought in, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blond he asked, "How much to stay with you for one night?" She replied $400.00! He then asked the brunette. She replied $200.00. The redhead came in and said, "Mr. Governor, if you can raise my skirt as high as you raised taxes, drop my pants as low as the wages, get your tool as hard as times are, and give me the screwing you're giving the people of Pa. ...., it won't cost you one damn cent ...